Everyone has different needs in different amounts or intensities at different times. However, in general, these needs are universal in all of us. When our needs are met we experience enjoyable emotions; when they are unmet we experience more difficult emotions. There are different ways to categorize words for needs. This list of 9 categories is drawn from the work of Manfred Max-Neef. These are examples. We all use different vocabulary to express our needs. AutonomyAuthenticityChoiceDignityEaseFreedomIndependenceIntegrityPowerSelf-RespectSpaceSpontaneity BelongingAcceptanceCommunityCooperationInclusionMutualityPartnershipSupportTo know and be knownTo see and be seen CreativityBeautyDiscoveryExplorationGrowthLearningSelf-expression EmpathyAppreciationClarityCommunicationCompassionConnectionHonestyUnderstanding LoveAffectionCompanionshipFriendshipIntimacy MeaningAlivenessBalanceCelebrationChallengeCompetenceConsciousnessContributionCreativityEffortHopeInspirationLiving FullyOrderParticipationProgressPurposeReflection RecreationAdventureCelebrationExcitementHumorFlowFunJoyLaughterMourningPlayRestStimulation SafetyHarmonyPeace (external)Peace of mindProtectionSecurityStabilityTrust SustenanceAirShelterSexual expressionFood & WaterMovement/exerciseRest/sleepTouch

There are no positive or negative emotions, just emotions we feel when our needs are met and emotions we feel when our needs are not met. Marshall Rosenberg Note – Watch out for feeling words than could be taken as an interpretation of the other person’s motivations. Some examples are “abandoned” or “attacked”. Possible Feelings When Our Needs Are Satisfied AFFECTIONATEcompassionatefriendlyfondlovingopenheartedsympathetictenderwarm CONFIDENTempoweredopenproudsafesecure ENGAGEDabsorbedalertcuriousengrossedenchantedenthralledentrancedfascinatedinterestedintriguedinvolvedopenspellboundstimulated EXCITEDamazedanimatedardentarousedastonisheddazzledenergeticenlivenedenthusiasticexuberantgiddyinvigoratedlivelypassionatesurprisedvibrant EXHILARATEDblissfulecstaticelatedenthralledexuberantradiantrapturouselectrifiedeuphoricoverjoyedthrilled GRATEFULappreciativemovedthankfultouched HAPPYamusedblissfulcheerfuldelightedecstaticelatedgiddygladjollyjoyfuljubilantmerryoverjoyedpleasedrapturoustickled HOPEFULconfidentencouragedexpectantjazzedlightheartedoptimisticsanguineupupbeat INSPIREDamazedawedeagerenthusedmotivatedmovedpsychedstimulatedstirredwonder JOYFULamuseddelightedgladhappyjubiliantpleasedtickled PEACEFULcalmcenteredclear-headedcomfortablecontentequanimousfulfilledmellowopenquietrelaxedrelievedsatisfiedserenestilltranquiltrusting REFRESHEDrechargedrejuvenatedrenewedrestedrestoredrevived Possible Feelings When Our Needs Are Unsatisfied ANGERaggravatedanimosityannoyedcontemptdisgruntledenragedexasperatedfurioushatehostileincensedindignantirateirritatedirkedlividmiffednettledoutragedpeevedresentful ANNOYANCEaggravateddismayeddisgruntleddispleasedexasperatedfrustratedimpatientirritatedirked AVERSIONanimosityabhorrenceappalledbotheredcontemptdispleaseddisgustdislikeenmityhorrifiedhostileloathingrepulsionrevulsion CONFUSIONambivalentbaffled bewilderedconflicteddazeddiscombobulateddisorientedhesitantlostmixedmystifiedperplexedpuzzledtorn DISCONNECTEDalienatedaloofapatheticboredclosedcolddetacheddistantindifferentlistlessnumbremovedwithdrawn DISQUIETagitatedalarmedconcerneddistraughtdisconcerteddismayeddisturbedfrustratedperturbedrattledrestlessshockedstartledsurprisedtroubledturbulentturmoiluncomfortableuneasyunnervedunsettledupset EMBARRASSMENTashamedchagrineddiscomfitedflusteredmortifiedself-conscious FATIGUEbeatburnt outdepletedexhaustedlethargiclistlesspoopedsleepytiredwearywiped outworn out FEARafraidanxiousapprehensivedreadfearfulforebodingfrightenedguardedinsecureleerymistrustfulpanickedpetrifiedscaredshakysuspiciousterrifiedtrepidationwaryworried PAINachingagonyanguishedbereaveddevastatedgriefheartbrokenhungryhurtinglonelymiserableregretfulremorseful SADNESSdepresseddejecteddespairingdespondentdisappointeddiscourageddisheartenedforlorngloomyheavy-heartedhopelessmelancholymiserableunhappywistfulwretched TENSEanxiousclosedcrankydistresseddistraughtedgyfidgetyfrazzledfrustratedirritablejitterynervousoverwhelmedrestlessstressed out VULNERABLEfragileguardedhelplessinsecureleeryreservedsensitiveshaky YEARNINGenviousjealouslongingnostalgicpiningwistful

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) helps turn around the negative patterns that keep us from the joyful, compassionate giving and receiving that is in our true natures. The language and process of NVC is honestly expressing ourselves and empathically hearing others through four components. 1. Observations – the concrete things we see and hear If I say “You’re rude” you may disagree or feel defensive. If I say “When you walked in you did not say hello to me” we have a neutral starting place for our discussion. 2. Feelings – how we feel in relation to our observations If I say “I feel like an idiot” I am making a judgement…