I was 22 years old as 1999 rounded into the year 2000. I had started my path to a career as a childcare professional, but I still had one year to go as a Blockbuster manager.
All 3 of my roommates were Blockbuster employees, too, and we saw ALL the movies.
I missed it in theaters, but in the spring of 2000, there was no missing the giant wall of new release DVDs with those two smirking stars on the cover and those giant pink bars of soap.
25 years later, Fight Club is still my favorite movie.
I find myself scratching my head in confusion at the increasingly hostile online discourse about Fight Club. It mostly centers around “toxic masculinity”, a term that didn’t take off online until 2017.
I’ve had an entirely different experience of the movie than so many others.
For me, Fight Club isn’t about toxic masculinity.
It isn’t about masculinity at all.
And it isn’t about violence.
It’s about gentle parenting.
Not JUST gentle parenting, of course; it’s a movie rich in meaning. But sometimes I think everything I know about positive parenting I learned from Fight Club.
I guess that will take some explaining!
You see, it’s obvious to me that the movie is a broad philosophical exploration. It’s not about any specific lifestyle or interpersonal situation.
And since I am not a man, and I am not violent, the movie isn’t about that for me.
I’m a 47 year old fat, feminist, disabled, married, suburban mother of two. I am interested in developing connected relationships with others and living a mindfully happy life. THAT’S the life that I shaped through the brilliant insights and affirmations I got from Fight Club.
It doesn’t matter how many times I watch it,
how much I swoon over the characters,
how accurately I can recite the lines,
or how deeply the movie has affected me on a fundamental level.
I will never, ever ask someone to hit me as hard as they can.
We take ourselves with us when we watch a movie, and then the movie goes with us when we go.
Fight Club celebrates its 25th anniversary this year, and I’m thinking maybe this is it. Maybe this is the year I finally get it all out of my head and explain to the world what I got out of this movie.
• How the chemical burn scene helps me enjoy my children.
• How the Project Mayhem initiation helps me manage depressive episodes.
• How mask wearing during the pandemic FINALLY helped me understand the seatbelt scene.
• How everyone misinterprets the bus scene in a wildly ironic way.
• How Fight Club forms a powerful 1999/2000 trilogy with American Psycho and a little John Cusack comedy that no one saw.
• The quote that immediately shuts down any argument when you use it right.
I have a LOT of thoughts about this. I’ve spent 25 years applying Fight Club to EVERYTHING.
I don’t know what form it’ll all take. Will I end up writing a book? Should I start a podcast? Perhaps a meandering series of Facebook posts will suffice.
One way or another, this is the year.
Let the chips fall where they may.
